Steamboat Feet
After an official gathering at Mambo No.5 to chill out, accounted to close proximity, i went back to the office to grab my stuff to go for training. Time was 6.40pm. I wasn’t sure if i could still make it and was torn by the fact i just had two pints of Hoegarden. As i sat in the studio contemplating, my art director enlightened me with another option - to follow him to “old folks home”. Apparently there were plans from my design director to do something together after work and so i tagged along.
Sure enough, when we reached the said location there were plenty of old folks, but it wasn’t an charitable organisation, it was a physician’s clinic. People were sitting around soaking their feet in some dark bubbling water powered by this machine that looked a tad like family-sized steamboat. Before i elaborate on that, let me try to orientate the visit chronologically. First, we have to fill in this log sheet looking form that will instantly consider us as members of this humble HDB shopfront. Then the physician diagnose you. He will take your pulse (did you know there are three points on your wrist that tells that respective conditions of your heart, kidney and liver?) and then terrifies you with a wry look on his face. He shakes his head in disapproval. He poses some really obvious questions like “Do you sleep late?”, “Eat a lot of salty and sweet stuff?”, “Drink alcohol?”, “Practise masterbation?” OK, the last one i added, but i would have probably said yes too as his random questions became quite numbing.
He tested my blood pressure and to my surprise it was high. When i had my blood pressure tested a year back, it was low. A month ago when i did my corporate medical checkup, its was fine. Now high!??! NB!@#$%
Just when i thought it was over, he took this ah mah mirror to show me how my tongue looks.
“What colour?” He asked. “Ey..Pink?” I offered. “No! Your tongue is purple! You see you see, all purple and you have a slit in the middle of your tongue, a sure sign your are too heaty.” He proceeds to show me a book of tongues comparing mine to really grotesque-looking ones.
“Come, lim kopi!” he said.
I was really confused by now. Why would this chap in his late 40s want to have coffee with me? He went to the counter, concocted some really nasty-looking drink and presented it with equally dodgy pills.
“Drink and you will be fine” he promised.
Before long, i was soaking my feet in the “steamboat” too. The process was suppose to stimulate blood circulation from bottom up. It made everyone perspire merely 20 minutes in. The “steamboat” even had a knob for adjusting the heat emmited. It was entirely up to one’s discretion how well you want your feet done. Like steak, i had mine medium rare. Yum yum.
I didn’t recongnise my feet after the theraphy - think it almost doubled in size and i couldn’t fit into my shoes anymore.
It was generally an enjoyable process. My friend who has done it before guaranteed that i would sleep real well after. I now know why they have such an extensive log sheet form. 
