there’s blood in my poo and more
Apologies for the lack of tact and discretion for the title of this entry. I had it worked out in my head a couple of days back thinking it would be rather amusing to share this piece of information, but now… i’m not that sure. I began this week reporting for reservist all the way at Chua Chu Kang at the new vicinity of the Home Team Academy - the training institute for various organisations of the Ministry of Home Affairs in Singapore, including the Police Force, the Civil Defence Force, the Central Narcotics Bureau, the Prison Service, the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority, and the Internal Security Department, amongst other agencies. Too much information? Too much agency in one place if you ask me. And, having to wake up early enough to travel halfway across the country consecutively for 4 days is not something i’d appreciate. Yes i’m a city spoilt brat, nice to meet you too.
At the end of the first mind-numbing, self-worth depreciating day, i went out for a binge having authentic Chong Qing Hot Pot along Beach Road. We chose the medium spicy soup base and practically cleared the stacks of ingredients gorging ourselves to death. The result was a satisfying, unrivalled feasting experience that would see me burning the linings of my intestinal walls thus giving birth to the ramblings now.
But there’s more blood to be spewed.
I am recalled this time for the BIG event coming in Sept, and we were under a course to prep us for the necessary things to know and to do. Nothing practical, just (very) plain theory. Leaving nuts to the imagination, we were treated to an overdose of PowerPoint slides. I hate it when the trainer reads straight-off the slides as though to affirm our stupidity, but i hate it more when he attempts to further elaborate a certain point urging us to respond to his lame interpretations.
“Men can only search men, lady can search both sexes. So don’t you think it’s better for the ladies to search all? huh huh huh… Then no need men officers liao la…. huh huh huh.”
*drip drip*
On the third day, we were tested on what we’ve learned via a computer-based questionnaire. I scored 26 outta 30. Not too shabby but only because it was freaking obvious and logic driven. But i could be wrong. 9 outta 27 people in my cohort failed.
*drip drip*
Today being the last day had to be screwed up because i forgot to bring my uniform. I had to take a cab back home to retrieve it as there was an Access Pass attached i had to return for my attendance to be recorded. Due to that, i chalked up the highest cab fare ever in my 25 years as a blur fuck.
$30! *sprays blood all over*
I need tonics.
