ludicrously speaking

…today marks the first day I start work in a multi-brand retail store. This is my first full-time job after leaving my previous employers, and it is what I’ve been wanting to do but never found the opportunity to explore: Fashion retail.

…visual merchandising is something closely related to what I’ve learned as a graphic designer: the use of colours, aesthetics of arrangement and even an acute fashion sense all work to my advantage when fixing up the displays and playing with setups.

…having spent one whole day around the premium goods has hyped me up for the days to come, if you’ve seen his stocks of premium vintage jeans and FREITAG bags, you would too. In the coming 2 weeks, we’ll be receiving some extensive media coverage on the opening of the store… or so I was told. My boss has got some big wigs in the entertainment industry to donate their worn jeans for a charity auction in conjunction with the opening.

…it all sounds like fun, probably more so because I’m starting a new chapter of my life in doing this. For better or worse, this has gotta be one helluva ride. I hope my enthusiasm lasts me then.

htf gave me an ipod. My hands are still trembling from shock but mostly from excitement & inexplicable joy.

I was still in Lala-land happy that I didn’t have to work today. When I came out of my room the first thing my mum asked was whether I’ve bought myself a computer. Slightly agitated at that ludicrous question, I shook my head and asked her what she meant. She then pointed to a parcel on the couch and said, “Apple delivered something this morning addressed to you.”

My jaw dropped. htf’s face bearing a cheeky smirk popped in my head.

You generousity is beyond me, I now feel totally indebted.

I guess all I can say is: “htf, ready your toes for pleasuring. Muahahaha… it’s payback time!”

Dear IR Committee members,

First and foremost, I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am that you guys are STILL accepting proposals at this hour. It was originally scheduled for launch in the second quarter of last year but you guys sibei gao tu, until recently then begin to allow various proposers to flood in. Why har? Some pre-election strategy again isit? Wanna build one in an opposite constituency if you win har? Yay! That would be great. Thanks!

Sorry, I digress.

I read about the major entertainment magnates wanting a share of the pie, offering some world class shows on our little humble land. MGM Mirage is staging a permanent Cirque du Soleil show here. Pwah… impressive. Harrah’s-Keppel Land unveils i-Pod, the futuristic theme park, which is to be the cornerstone of its entertainment component, AND with James Cameron of Titanic fame driving the project. Jun bo? Damn sat lor.

But hor…

Cannot work one la! How can? All your auntie and uncle know ximi is cirque du soleil bo? Then your ximi theme park only cater to young adults…very soon they bored wan la. Young people cannot rely one! Limited spending power, no discerning taste for lifestyle. They only care for sex and fitting in the crowd. So, you must target all the auntie and uncle mah. They got time to spare (so they can idle in your resort) and they have money (cpf and kids’ allowances)… plus they no longer need sex to validate them, or rather, they cannot any more? So probably you need to rethink your positioning again because all your angmos hi-brow shit ain’t gonna work in the long run!

Listen to me, and maybe you will succeed. A resort plan copied by….er, I mean CONCEPTUALISED BY a Singaporean, for Singaporeans.

Mediacock De Suria presents kopi “O”

Choreographed by famed MKF/Plesident Star/Len Ci charity show producer Miss Aksi Mat Yoyo. “Adapted” from various Cirque du Soleil shows, this spell-binding performance features a multi-millon stage filled nightly with freshly brewed kopi that cascades down from a large ivory skull. The macabre backdrop is further enhanced by floating mental spoons-boats and suspended sieveing sock-clouds that aids in dramatizing the story. Local flavour, literally!

Boasting a strong ensemble cast of all the top finalist from Chingapore Idols, 绝对Duperstars and Anugelah as puppets of the underworld. They are lost souls tormented and manipulated by darklords ironically wearing white that doesn’t allow them to have a voice. Forced to do death-defying stunts to gain permission to their next life, their only solace is to retreat to a quiet place to sing (each of them in their respective ethnic tongue of course). But soon each of them finds a way out of cruelty when a headless winged man carrying an spearhead comes to set them free.

Familiar household faces, topics that are close to hearts and a drink we can all agree with. This show is set to be a runaway hit that will last numerous runs.

Comfortable Delagro & XBX Transit presents “Road Kill Paradise”

From the transport companies that brought us many accidents and deaths, a theme park of equal thrills and spills! Ride the DEMON RAIL (actually a defunct train and leftover materials from the construction of the NEL), experience the never before 720 degree rotation coaster ride (which is just 2 full loops la) that will send chills down your spine with no harness, no seatbelt and no safety cache whatsoever! As with local practises, unless someone dies, no precautionary measures shall be taken! Ain’t that wicked? Aren’t you “dying” to give it a shot before any rules get implemented?

Also! Challenge you limits at our state-of-the-art simultation ride, Crush the Cabbies! You are the master of the road and your targets are the nonsense spewing, crap blabbering Taxi Uncles! Choose from an arrays of sleek sports car and take on the roads of Singapore knocking these fool down one by one! From politics to hokkien music, eateries to personal views of life, there’s bound to be one taxi uncle you’ll come across that you just have to kill! And if you make it to the bonus round, you even get to push some of them into the MRT tracks for extra credits in the casino! Ah! Speaking of casino! Lemme introduce to you my ultimate plan…

MKF presents “Organ Royale!”

NO HEALTHY SINGAPOREANS ARE ALLOWED IN THE CASINO.

Screw the debates, the feedbacks, all that bullshit discussed. In the end, no one shall gamble! Except those whose lives are already in jeopardy! The WORLD’s first casino solely for patients! Featuring the money embezzled returned as start up cash flow, all recognised patients of MKF, Cancer foundation, etc… will be permitted to enter the vicinity to gamble. Not for money of course, silly! For the sake of advance placing on their list for organ transplants! Each of them will be given a default credit based on their annual family income to start playing, and like horse racing and 4D, it’s all a game of luck. If you become the ultimate winner in rounds of jackpot, blackjacks and yada yada, you get the priority to receive a new organ!

The philosophies here are straight and simple – You have an incurable illness and without a new organ, you will die. But if you lose in the casino and not get a transplant, you will receive donations to fund your dialysis bills instead. Fair? When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose! Just have fun and hope for the best than be used as advertorials on national tv.

Healthy singaporeans ought to cherish what they already have and be contented for crying out loud! Casino, casino your head!

So what say you IR committee? Ho say bo!? Good right? Quickly approve my proposal and let’s show the world what a true blue Singapore-styled integrated resort is like!

I’m not alone, I wish I was
‘Cause then I’d know I was down because
I couldn’t find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I’m dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn’t help the hunger pains
And a thirst I’d have to drown first to ever satiate

Something’s missing
And I don’t know how to fix it
Something’s missing
And I don’t know what it is
No I don’t know what it is
At all

When Autumn comes, it doesn’t ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there’s fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something’s missing
And I don’t know how to fix it
Something’s missing
And I don’t know what it is, no I don’t know what it is
At all

I can’t be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test for loneliness
For loneliness like this

Something’s missing
And I don’t know how to fix it
Something’s missing
And I don’t know what it is
No I don’t know what it is

Something’s different
And I don’t know what it is
No I don’t know what it is

Friends - check
Money - check
Well-slept - check
Opposite sex - check
Guitar - check
Microphone - check
Messages waiting on me when I come home - check

How come everything I think I need
Always comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
How come everything I think I need…

I said it once and i say it again; this is my all-time favourite john mayer song.

It feels like forever since I last blogged. Caught between freelancing work and scripting a website for a company. But something else is coming up, as most of you would know by now. I’m looking forward to it.

 

The buzzword for me these couple of weeks is uncertainty. I wake up each day without having a clue what’s in store at work - a new task will be thrown my way without any prior warnings. It’s kinda thrilling to work like that but it can also be daunting. Then there’s the tedious website I’ve been trying to do up against all odds, I never really know for sure I was gonna be able to finish it on my own. It’s blood and tears all the way but I survived. The biggest question now is the path that is lies ahead, how is that gonna work out for me? Hmm…

 

It’s Friday. Alls good.

The state of our entertainment scene irks me, every program we produced are sad sad copies of foreign ones. We have no talent., admit it people. All the talented people have migrated to Australia, the good ones left are in theatre or performing in obscure joints. Why? Because they have integrity, they rather starve earning peanuts than to betray their craft to our lousy monopolised network that is unoriginal and lacks the desire to breakthrough. They won’t achieve much even if they did, cause our self-righteous local bastards will just dismiss it as immoral or inappropriate.

I loved the Ra-Ra Show starring Kumar and the gang, it was the best thing on tv ever. Unfortunately nobody had the balls to fend for the show when tongues started wagging. So now what are we left with? Gurmit the flop? Give me a break. One day all you network stars will arrive in hell and Satan will be laughing his head off when you say you were a Mediacock Artiste. Yes, especially all you channel eight people… and the stupid idiot that just got crowned Star Idol.

Wah lauz! I cannot stand it! Why is anyone wasting time doing all these nonsense? What Star idol? Singapore Idol? 绝对Superstars? Go get a life please! The furthest your fame with reach is some lian huey in JB la. Didn’t you ever use a magnifying glass to find Singapore on the world map only to realise it’s represented by a dot? Do you know how pathetic it is to delude ourselves that we are capable of producing an idol of credible substance, not even mentioning international standards? Muahahhaha… so loser can?

Thank god for cable. At least that gives me a break from all these madness. Phui!

I miss running.

I haven’t done any since I got back. Just like how I haven’t got to writing a proper CV for an interview, like how my wardrobe is a mess of clothes cause I’ve yet to remove the old ones to put aside. The art director at the advertising agency wants me to stay till the end of the month and even that I couldn’t make up my mind whether to return next week or not. I’d need him to call again to discuss. Procrastinating kills me.

Came across massive public outcry on their disapproval of Brad and Angelina (let’s just call it Bragelina for that same ol’ effect) online. I think people all over still feel sorry for Jennifer, everyone’s still harping on the fact that Brad dated prematurely when he has yet to sit out the breakout, or that Angelina is probably the husband snatcher… Hmmm, but nobody died? Why does it bother anyone? Lying bastards and sexy vixens (I hope I don’t sound too pro-Angelina…keke) exist in every freaking corner of the world. They aren’t very rare unless you live in a monastery you know. Even Jennifer has publicly spoke of how sick she is that people around are feeling sorry for her.

I quote, “Flip the page already people.”

If Bragelina wants to travel to some freaking beach and make out, that’s fine by me cause its none of my business. My business is to pack my wardrobe, write my CV and try to get a job soon - I’ve got time till the end of the month. That’s my short term goal, my immediate goal is to go running tomorrow morning.

Thought i’ll bum for a while but an opportunity came:

A job for 4 days i was told, to ease my financial woes.

So i gallantly agreed and showed up the next day,

without much effort i did the work and stopped to play.

 

I figured having something to do was better than not -

the extra cash that came along would do me good.

Next week it’s back to the life that allows me to rot,

and continue my malingering state for as long as i could.

I’m finally done with my Vietnam photos! I never thought i’d finished it! *Tears streaming down my cheeks* Here’s a sneak peek at our culinary experience during our stay in the town of Hoi An.

We set out from the meeting place and had a walk through the wet markets to look at the ingredients we’ll be using for the day. After which, we boarded a boat across the river to get to the class situated away from the main land.

See? Loads of ang mo, we are the unofficial Asian representatives!

See this Vietnam woman rowing her sampan with so much poise. Very Uu sey.

When we got on the island, we were whisked to the garden where the guide showed us how useful plants were to spice things up in the kitchen and also how easy they were to grow.

Ah.. the very talk cock chef who showed us the procedure. Nice chap, but too much crap.

Our first dish was some brinjal (yucks!) tomato sauce based dish. Very simple to make, idiot proof!

Here’s my very first spring roll paper attempt! I was told i stirred too slowly that’s why my paper looked like kway tiao.

After we’ve prepared our paper, we had to filled it up with ingredients provided. I added a lot of prawn meat so that it will be yummy!

Ah, my springroll is complete, looks good because my paper was thick enough to avoid tearing!

Next, we tried to make Hoi An’s local pancake. When the bottom is ready, you have to flip it before it’s overcooked. Timing is everything!

Mine’s a little charred but i like it better this way! More crispy! Looks more delectable! Even the Aussie beside me reckon making pancakes could be my second career! haha…er..what career?

At the end of it, we all settled down at the dining area and had a good time chatting up with people and savouring the good food prepared.

I can’t wait to share the rest of the photos. There’s so much more to show and tell!