ludicrously speaking

Mr. Taufreak. Coming in tops on Channel 5 had instead landed him a spot on Suria (he should have just joined Anugerah). His most memorable gig this year was selling slurpee for a convenient store. Variety of flavours later, he’s ever “Blessed” to be the only spokesperson ever engaged to sell frozen syrup (come to think of it, his only competition was the Mr. Slurpee cartoon character). As the other ethnic representative of the NDP 2005 song, he has shown his versatility to sing a theme that no one remembers while wearing hideous mismatched clothing with equally horrendous dancing. If all else fails and he gets the boot one day, he should just play soccer (don’t they all?) in a big grass of green (as illustrated in his mtv) and eat his endorsed rice for life.

Mr. Sibei Gake Sim. I feel for him the most. Being the most misunderstood of the lot, he has such a hard time dealing with his inner demons he barely got about to cut his hair or at least get a more manly tan. The only reason he wants you to believe that he is not an Ah Beng is clear, he is in fact an Ah Lian. The signature “tongue sticking, index finger and pinkie pointing” stance originated from his favourite Neo Print pose during his days at CHIJ. I look forward to seeing him flash his pearlies on yet another edition of PSC nite, but this time round, maybe he can try to join the Golden Peony Karaoke contest and see if the kids in sequins and fur can give him a run for his money. They just might.

Miss Olin Ju. If I were her, I would write a book titled, “ How I Lost A Chunk of My Credibility in 30 days!” The decision to lose weight still puzzles me; she had a proportionate body that looked rather appropriate with her bubbly personality. After successfully losing a lung and liver for that svelte figure, her chubby face not only remained intact but appears bigger than ever before. The cheeks have a life of their own and they are officially more famous than her. Ask anyone if they still remember Olin’s thick luscious voice? I guess not. A word of caution for Olin - If you lose any more weight you are likely to end up looking like a lollipop. Ey, perhaps you can endorse Chupa Chups when that happens.

That’s them. You can sample their respective accomplishment for your own reference and find your niche in this very tiny industry we have. Do your best! We’ll be laughing, er… rooting for you.

The stars are shining brightly in the nite sky. I hope each and every one of you reach it, before they reach you - in the form of a meteorite and blow you all to pieces.