ludicrously speaking

Socially active at 24. That’s me. Even when things weren’t looking too bright, it’s almost impossible for me to wallow and coup myself at home. In my previous entry I write about not having joy in my life and friends thinking it is in the pits, but let me put it down on record right now… my social lifestyle is never drear. Let me recollect the highlights of these past 2 weeks other than work to illustrate my point;

• Had a Mid Autumn Party at my boss place. Pictionary fun and mooncake galore.
• I was at a friend’s fashion show. Met and spoke to Emma Yong. She’s real petite. Nice person.
• I did a window display with my kaqin. Moonlighting as a window display artist recently.
• Watched Harry Porter 2 & 3 at Starlight cinema in Padang. Nice weather, good crowd… pizza, sushi, sandwiches, salads, chai tow kuey, beehoon…. *burp* ultimate pig-nic.
• My friend who’s a training to be a hairstylist came over to my place and gave me a kewl funky hairdo. I love it.
• Conceived and finalised a kewl corporate identity for a friend… feeling very satisfied with the end result.
• Watched Corpse Bride with colleagues and friends. Great movie.
• Met up with Taiwanese police officer who was here on holiday: He’s the one who was incredibly hospitable when i backpacked thru Taiwan 2 years back.

And tomorrow, find me at dxo for an exclusive session of breaks and spins as i tag along with my friend on the rsvp list, followed by mahjong on Sunday…

Sometimes i feel like i’m a living credit card commercial.;p

I think I’ve lost track of time and probably the joy of being… I can only hope this is transient. The days slipped past without much excitement and I’m almost failing to recognise this face in the mirror. I have absolutely no drive at work, my mind shamelessly wanders the sparsely populated gym and movie theatres. I’m not unhappy, I just feel very ordinary; like those who gripe and procrastinate all day long but do nothing to deal with the problem at hand.

My friend saw my msn title the other day and asked me, ” What’s up with you these days? It’s either guilt trips or getting drunk? Are you ok?” Instinctively, I wanted to defend myself and explain that those titles were just snapshots of my life…that I’m not as disturbed as she’s perceived. But then I froze and pondered long enough to recognise there was indeed something awfully wrong. I had let some hurtful feelings linger for way too long.

It was time to let go.

Life gets you in certain ways and we must learn to thrive from every experience, whether good or bad. I think a lot of people know that and could probably give the same advice… but in order to grasp the whole concept… you really need to take some serious beating.

*bish*

*ting* all good.

very entertaining, it exceeded my expectation.

i became a seven year old kid once again, delightfully enjoying the adventures intertwine with fables and tales, enriched by the spectacular sets and costumes. heath ledger *clap clap* - a gem, another stellar performance.

watch it, if not just for monica bertulucci. ;p

For the past 4 days, I’ve been wondering if we are indeed a modern society and as cultured as our republic would like to believe. This strong urge to verbalize myself sparked off literally from crap, or rather a trail of faeces that lined the bus stop situated right beside the Clarke Quay NEL Station I wait at each morning.
 
On Tuesday as I walked towards the bus stop, I was instantly greeted by an awful stench that could only be “sai”. And indeed! I looked at these blots of “sai” in horror and was stumped by how ridiculous and embarrassing it looked lying there. I wanted to get someone to clean it up ASAP!!! The civil-minded bit of me kicked in, but almost as quickly, realized the other passive passengers went about reading their newspapers and talking on their mobile without much distress…
 
As I began digging a hole to bury myself in shame, a family of Japanese tourist walked past the unsightly scene and stared at one another with repulsion…unable to grasp the whole concept of human waste placed like art installation in broad daylight! I could die there and then in my freshly dug hole with a tombstone that reads, ” Not a Sin-gaporean”.
 
After 3 days, the now-dried up “sai” remained intact on the red tiles, accompanied by shoeprints that told the stories of numerous victims stepping right into it. What is wrong with people? Who defecates along a busy traffic route, RIGHT BESIDE A BUS-STOP?? Aren’t there any agencies even taking care of cleanliness in public spaces??? WE ARE IN ANAL RETENTIVE SIN-GAPORE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Like as though we do not have enough shit to hold and behold!

Harrow anyone?
 
I’m baffled.

Slow paced though highly thought provoking. Melancholic and heart-wrenching but in no way short of true life depiction. Be With Me is a show to be appreciated for its simplicity and honest projection of people we know or have read about on this very land. The pivotal figure of this film is Theresa Chan, a woman who overcame her lack of sight and sound to learn to write, talk and teach… but more importantly, to love.

Take a moment to imagine how it’s like, when the only thing that separates sleeping and waking up is consciousness. It frightens me to know how very little you can do for yourself with such a condition.

As difficult as it was to comprehend her world of stark emptiness, the film didn’t mutter a single breath of the physical handicap but instead celebrate her fascinating life through inspiring true-life accounts. Sadly, the forgettable sub plots of diverse characters yearning for love (a sloppy fluff on lesbian crush and a tale of unrequited adoration) fails to inspire.

In spite of that, this noteworthy local production excels, and affirms through my perspective, that kindness is ultimately the key to our hearts.

 Last evening, I sat in front of my monitor contemplating on whether it was possible for me to place an order for the iPOD Nano; it will set me back by nearly $500 for the 4GB version. I stared long and hard at the mesmerizing beauty while working out recent expenditure in the head. My current trophy, the Z750 Casio Exilim, is now looking a tad lacklustre having sealed my fate of buying any more luxury item this month. *digital camera gives a slight wimper*
 
But that’s besides the real problem. I’m focusing more on my overdued mobile-phone bills, 2 months of unpaid cable and internet charges, my monthly gym fees and skin therapy…yada yada… AND! My biggest vice in terms of finance – my indulgence to live the lifestyle of the young and fabulous. A little drink and snack at a club, a few sessions of karaoke or maybe just a few health products to up the “feel good” factor, these things practically leave me dry each month, putting my saving plan once again in limbo.
 
There’s always the struggle between the “needs” and “wants”, always a way to logically look at the whole spending pattern of an individual. In my case, I somehow always managed to convince myself that if I want it so badly it must definitely be a need…haha. Let me illustrate this with an example,
 
J’s Thought Process Upon Seeing the Ipod Nano
 
1st Stage – EXHILARATION
“Woah…the Nano is fucking gorgeous! I would be the envy of all if I could have it. Oh please! just let me have it! I WANT! I WANT!”
 
2nd Stage – DELIBERATION
“Hmm… but can I afford it? This month’s a bit tight leh! I can’t possibly think of possessing it! Its ridiculous! What’s more, i have the Shuffle already! I’ve got music to listen to on the move! Dun be greedy! Be contented!”
 
3rd Stage – HALLUCINATION
“Ey..but maybe  I can leh! D still owes me money, Sis needs to return me cash too… the little extra bits could be helpful and hm…if I dun pay my bills this month… hey! What do you know! IT IS POSSIBLE! Damn! I could use my Shuffle as my storage thumbdrive! That will give it a reason to work along-side his new partner in crime, THE iPOD NANO! Yippee!!!”
 
4th Stage – THE FINAL DELUSION
“Yay! I MUST GET IT NOW! How can any mortal exist without having one of this? It’s too kewl to be true! I can afford it afterall! I NEED IT!* birds chirping and a strip of “rambo” appears across the blue sky* Ahhhh…”
 
I just made myself sound very bimbotic. Haha, but who’s to judge? We all have moments like these every now and then when we give in to things we have a soft spot for… at least for me in this situation, I did drag myself back to reality and did the right thing. In conclusion, I paid my bills and transferred money into my credit card account. No debts. Clear conscience.
 
Ultimately what matters most for me, is a need. A need to be able to sleep in peace and therefore be truly happy.

Ladies and gentlemen, the iPOD Nano has descended on our humble planet.

Visit www.apple.com for more mind-blowing details…

And so it is, a friend departs to pursue his studies in another place. A week of fleeting memories consisting of great food (some alcohol in between), gadgets and many dramatic “Apple” fiasco…amounting to one final dinner gathering. Nothing but well wishes for the journey ahead.

Let the dreams take flight and god speed.